Sean Combs I use to love him

Last night I tuned into Vh-1's latest reality series "I want to be Diddy's a$$kisser." I should've know what to expect judging from the level of ego stroking displayed by former & current employees from the teaser special that last night's show would be nauseous. Back in the day I was Sean's #1 fan. It was because of him that I developed the motivation to follow my dreams. Let's go back boys & girls to the days of music conventions. Remember "How can I be Down?", Vibe Music Seminar, Impact, and more specifically The Black Radio Exclusive (BRE)... it was at the Los Angeles hosted BRE that I received a little pep talk from Sean Comps V.P of A&r at Uptown Records. I remember like it was yesterday Sean advised me not to take off for Los Angeles or New York to pursue my dreams in Publicity. He told me that I should work my way up from the bottom (little did he know how prophetic that advise was because I was currently living in the South right before the "durty 3rd Coast" would blow up on the rap scene). This whole conversation took place in the hallway of the convention hotel. This is where the ironic twist of the story gets interesting...

Last night I watched "Piss Diddy" in disgust, he's such a attention hungry diva. Demanding organic applesauce & Heinz 57 Ketsup for good knows what lubrication purposes. I guess in case he wants his a$$kissers to have a lil' flavor on their main dish. Over the past years I've seen him grow into a media attention monster, nothing like the the humble young man I spoke with years ago in the hallway of the BRE after Suge Knight came in and BIG BOY'D his butt off of his own panel. Let me take you back in time. I was sitting in on a panel sponsored by Uptown Records. Heavy D & Sean "Puffy" Combs were speaking about guerrilla-style marketing. The room was buzzing with excitement and passion for the brainchild of buzz was giving us the secrets to success. When all of a sudden the air in the room became still, it felt like everyone was holding their breath. I looked up from scribbling in my notepad and noticed the room became a bright devilish shade of red. All about the panel were strategically placed men dressed in red & black lumberjack styled shirts. I thought to myself damn it's too hot for flannel but then it became clear to me what was going on as I watched the largest man I had ever seen stroll into the room with about fifty red-shirt dude's flanking his gigantic frame. He looked like a big red bloody dragon as he blow cigar smoke throughout the room.

His eyes were set on a target ahead of him. My head turned toward the direction of his gaze which landed upon a obviously shook Sean "Puffy" Combs. Several men got up out of their chairs and made room for him to sit on the panel. I looked on the program trying to figure out... who was this new speaker? Someone whispered "Suge Knight is in the building." Heavy D excused himself and left the panel. I noticed several people gathering their things to make an exit. What in the hell was going on? I will say this much about Mr. Combs, he stood his ground and continued his lecture. Suge quickly put that to an end when he muttered the phrase that he would later say pubically on The Source Awards "If anyone in here is an artist and you wanna be signed to a real a$$ label where ya CEO wont be dancin' & jiggin' around fo da camara's...ya need to come to Death Row."

It was at that moment that I could swear I saw a puddle form underneath Sean's chair, because he excused himself and left the room. I didn't need to stick around for anymore drama so I grabbed my stuff and bounced. I bumped into Sean in the hallway on his cell calling for backup (ie. a personal assistant.) I patiently waited for him to finish his phone call to ask him the question I had been waiting to ask during the Q&A portion of the panel. It was at that moment that I fell deep in love with Hip-Hop. He spoke from the heart about his passion, trials & tribulations in the business. It was a real honest moment because he probably feared for his life at the time. I was moved to give the music business my all and be my own female version of Puff Daddy.

I bumped into to Sean several times after that meeting and each time I met a different person. With each level of success he has become a loud obnoxious self indulgent fool. On his "reality" shows he plays an emotional "diva dressed in a designer bully suit. In some ways he is no different than Suge Knight the only difference is Suge Knight is a real live physical bully. Who recently got knocked the fuk' out by a lil skinny man with heart. (See Puff, You may have had a shot had you stuck around that day.) Sean Combs... I use to love him but now... I don't know who the Hell you think are.