Ok folks, Monday is here & yet another eventful weekend in Houston has come to a close. Allow me to share with you some tid-bits that occurred in H-town over the weekend. 1) Comedian Bill Bellamy, the originator of the phrase we all love to make and receive from time to time... I'm talkin' about the phrase "booty-call" was in town performing at the Improv. Billy was seen making his "hoe-sting" I mean "hosting"rounds to a couple of local clubs ie Spy & Beleverdere. I'm sure the lovely ladies of Houston were nothing short of uhh-hmm warm and inviting. All jokes aside I heard he was hilarious.

Since we're talking "funny"... Imagine my surprise when I walked out of Buffalo exchange on Montrose this Saturday at about 7:46 and ran into a full blown "Gay-Pride" parade complete with floats, queens, beads the whole 9-inches I mean whole 9-yards. It wasn't in my plans but I have to say that it was very educational & entertaining(Queens are the most fashionable diva's) . It definitely teaches you to not be so quick to stereo-type people. (Public Relations strategy: I have to say that because this whole blog in part is about judging folks so is my way of being a politician) Naw, seriously there were all types of individuals and corporations who participated. I would like to give the award of most creative float to some construction organization who had a float that was a huge bright yellow dump truck with the mouth of the truck filled with men wearing nothing but hard hats, work belts and speedo's. "You betta work Bitches!"

Because I still can...

I've noticed a new trend going around amongst the rap stars and such that involves wearing decorative table clothes around your neck in the heat of the summer. I don't know what this fad is called but I'm going to give it a name let's call it... Al Qaida couture, because it reminds me of what the little eight year old juveniles in the middle-east wear to cover their face right before they throw tear gas at innocent bystanders at local hookah bars. I'm just sayin...the only people I see get away with this fad and look fashionable are Lil Wayne (even he had to remove his picnic-table cloth during his recent performance at the arena because it's just too damn hot for this ish'), made cool-a$$$ middle eastern dudes, aforementioned juvie's, & supermodels. The only exception I will allow is if you have strep throat and it's in the dead chill of winter.

Just because I can

One of my fav past-times is checking out all the pics on "all the parties.com" & "Indmix.com" One of the reason is that... I find it very interesting to see what my people in H-town are wearing. Some of you guys make me proud... and some of you just "Ooh Lawd-have-mercy" Here you see for yourself...

BET AWARDS

Okay! So we all know that any person of color was rallied around their television last night for the annual parade of "black-star power" fabulousness mixed in with random doses of Black-star buffoonery. Today all over the nation you could hear everyone's version of the negro-news review regarding who was a "hot" shot of "hautesauce" and who was a hot crockpot of hamhocks mess. Let me give you my menu: (1) Usher's performance was bland, Wifey & baby ursh have seemed to steal a lil sparkle from Mr. Bo Jangles. Someone of his level should've elevated the show to a frenzy. (2) Ney0's performance was impressive due to the fresh new house sound he's incorporated in his music as well as a dynamic display of his fancy footwork, (very smart to feature Jabawakee's from MTV even smarter to stand soo far behind them you couldn't see if he could really hang) proving that the rumors that he could be a little light on his feet might be true...but wait I almost forgot that his stylist remembered to accessorize him with a staged date of which he clutched tight whenever the camera's where on the two of them. (Good stylist + Good Publicist+ good PR move) (3) I put Neyo and Chris Brown neck in neck for best male performance. Chris B. was very creative in his usage of the stage as well as a uhh hmm staged female prop Ciara, who clearly did her thing. (Watch out Janet Jackson this lil' one is setting herself up to be your millennium protegee) speaking of props...(4) Rhi-Rhi's performance was very polished beginning to end. Outfit was hot. I applaud her for keeping it simple so she wouldn't lose her vocals running around the stage. "Take a Bow" has great lyrics and you want to hear them with dramatic emotion. Good-looking out! Unlike, I'm sad to say... My girl Keisha Cole who I know can "sang" w/her feet planted to the earth put that girl several feet above ground on a elevated platform and she's going to crack. Only Beyonce can sang upside down 20feet in the air hanging from a bedazzled pedicured toe. (Keisha leave that issh to the professionals. Papa Matt use to train dem girls to sing hanging upside down from some monkey-bars at age 6) (5) Al Green stole the show. I know sanctified people all over the nation got the "holy-ghost" when he sang Love & Happiness because I know that I flew off my couch and commenced to rollin' all over the floor like a heathen. Today I'm feeling very christian so I'm going to close this out with only one negative thing to say "Lawwd, Please Keisha Cole ... Please I'm begging you get your kinfolks an ettiquette coach, couture gowns and lacefront weaves do not compensate for lack of socialization." I'm sorry for talking about your peeps here's some sugar... you should know that I luuuuv you like a play cousin.

Sweet Sixteen!!!

Ok! Wassup with local wanna-be-celebrity's having three day Birthday celebrations at nightclubs, in some cases strip clubs. (No need to say names, you know who you are) What happened to the private family/friends joints... where there's no cover or mandated "hooker" dress code. I'm not hating on you folks who love to celebrate your birthday in a big way, I've been known to have a birth month celebration myself but... really!!! Throwing your pic all over a flyer "holler's it's my birthday!" Screams I need attention, don't you think I'm fab?" Actually naw, me thinks not. I was coming to the tired club anyway it's still a Thursday, Friday, Saturday night in Houston right?? Where else was I going to go? And guess what? It wont be your Birthday next week and the same folks including yourself will be there again hollering "It's my Birth... opps I need attention, don't you think I'm fab? hehehe

On a positive tip there was one 3-day birthday celebration that was valid and that was Texan baller Amboi Okoye 21st birthday celebration. His event was SocialPrivy-validated because (1) He is a celebrity. (2) He just turned 21. There is no other time in your life when you can be totally self-indulged and party like a rock star (3) There were other celebrities in attendance. Actress Saana Lathan and Rapper Juelz Santana (who actually performed) (4) Gratis-munchies (free food) (5) Most of all his party was validated because this young man is raising funds to launch his charity foundation. Good looking out.

Waring the following is a Public Relations strategy: Allow me to give props where props are due, there was this one birth weekend that I do believe started all this grown-a$$ Sweet-Sixteen mess and that was a local young lady who calls herself a "model." (most of you know her name) Several years ago she threw herself a shin-ding that had all the townies a-talking. Complimentary Champagne was flowing, munchies was moving down throats faster then__________at a_________ factory. (fill in the blank) She has since tried to duplicate the soiree with medium success due to the fact that this time around she was charging big $$$ to soak up her birthday vibes. "No more free-isssh for you folks. Yall gots to pay me."

To all you other wannabe local celeb's please take heed if you want to have a Socialprivy-validated birth weekend please follow the tried and true ingredient: Invite people who think your fabulous whether you are or not(friends ie. ego-stroker's). If you know you're not fabulous enough to draw a crowd invite someone who everyone already knows is FAB. If you don't have enough $$$$ for that then at least give away some free $hit!!! Cake, punch, jolly rancher somethin' Damn.

Ok folks, just recieved some very distrubing news regarding "The Pee'd Piper" R. Kelly's child pornography case. The R&B singer was acquitted of all charges, needless to say over the past several years R. Kiddy kept his head up and never showed his piss'timistic side. OOPS, I mean pessimistic side. I guess $money$ CAN buy your freedom... as long as you have a dope beat, & tight lyrics... to HELL with your SOUL.

Hey! Hey-Hey!

Wassup everybody??? I can wait to fill you in on all the hotness that is SOCIAL PRIVY!